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roza_and_dimka

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roza_and_dimka

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  • Number of visits : 157
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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roza_and_dimka's page activity

Visits<b>HuebertMCR</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:57am<b>BobRoss9</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:10am<b>AmexBlack</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:37am<b>Tthug</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:39pm<b>ladyfingers</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 9:43am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:01pm<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:18pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 1:30am<b>micha090</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 5:44pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:03pm

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roza_and_dimka's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39709) - you deserved it (6082)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49408) - you deserved it (6558)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44186) - you deserved it (7054)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49160) - you deserved it (4645)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44304) - you deserved it (8954)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59596) - you deserved it (4611)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (5895)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (5191)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45686) - you deserved it (5162)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47351) - you deserved it (5051)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52930) - you deserved it (2922)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)



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