About roxxyfoxxy3 : Big fan of poetry, and Doctor Who. I come here to feel a bit better about my life.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
roxxyfoxxy3's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML
by ZiggyTink / 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML
by Badhairday / 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML
by 4lphab3t4 / 06/11/2015 at 10:37am / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML
by McFuckYouTooCunt / 06/11/2015 at 9:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 5:08am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by bloody hell / 06/04/2015 at 1:59am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried… 3Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After…