About roxxyfoxxy3 : Big fan of poetry, and Doctor Who. I come here to feel a bit better about my life.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
roxxyfoxxy3's favorite FMLs
Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
by Annie / 08/24/2015 at 4:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Arrkyna / 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
by cuckoo / 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
by FishFlingingMonkey / 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML
by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML
by ANON / 08/21/2015 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML
by fmymouth / 08/20/2015 at 12:48am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 2:32am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love
by LoveIsOneSided / 08/18/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML
by jami898 / 08/18/2015 at 12:30am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by ShroomSalad / 08/17/2015 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by fire starter / 08/16/2015 at 12:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML
by MikaykayUnicorn / 08/15/2015 at 11:41pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work
- Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able… Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon.… Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his…