About roxxyfoxxy3 : Big fan of poetry, and Doctor Who. I come here to feel a bit better about my life.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
roxxyfoxxy3's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 1:42am / France (Corse) / Intimacy
by hating my life / 11/26/2015 at 2:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML
by anthony / 11/25/2015 at 7:32am / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML
by Koizumiii / 11/15/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
by time to buy a gun / 11/01/2015 at 11:22pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals
Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 10:02pm / United States / Health
by aishyaslife89 / 10/06/2015 at 6:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by cocacola999 / 10/05/2015 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 6:57am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML
by soulaar / 10/02/2015 at 10:22am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by Anon Y. Mous / 10/02/2015 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML
by scoobses / 10/01/2015 at 8:45pm / United States / Work
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
- Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the… Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file… Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML