rouslov

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Offline (the 07/23/2016 at 12:00pm)

rouslov

13Fucked!

rouslov
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1042
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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rouslov's page activity

Visits<b>givemethebleach</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 2:50am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:26pm<b>ItsNotThatBadBae</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:17am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:04pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:06am<b>maritaak</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 9:40am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:30pm<b>hallieee</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:06pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:16am<b>arano</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:22am<b>LieBull2732</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:03am<b>flupsht</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:30am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 3:08am<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:54am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:46am<b>windell</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:39am<b>bigdog80</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:52pm

Fucked!<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:30pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:16pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:41pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:33am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:27am<b>nobody116</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:14am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:36am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:15am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:36am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:18am<b>ironhead</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:38pm

rouslov's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of rouslov's badges

rouslov's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 1:14pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

by HURP / 06/17/2015 at 11:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

by fxck / 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm / Work

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

by pubemilkshake / 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.