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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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rosie14

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rosie14
  • Town/Country : Kelso, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 August 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About rosie14 : I'm Rosie and I'm 15 years old. I made this account because I go on FML every day because I enjoy reading the funny stories.

rosie14's last visitors

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rosie14's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (41132)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547 (37)

I agree, your life sucks (13741) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (20623) - you deserved it (7735)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (5537) - you deserved it (16682)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (4469)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

#4764613 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5393) - you deserved it (24040)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

#4321339 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (41649)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - animals - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

#4224204 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (7361) - you deserved it (46631)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:35am - work - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (35221) - you deserved it (6535)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

#3714352 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (58872) - you deserved it (4315)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (46365)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, I went to Cheese Cake Factory for dinner. There was this hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt ?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

#2424639 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (5165) - you deserved it (45309)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by getmoneyab (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)