Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rosenkrieger

Search for a member

rosenkrieger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 167
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rosenkrieger's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of rosenkrieger's badges

rosenkrieger's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (47869)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51743) - you deserved it (17572)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14062) - you deserved it (83463)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49338) - you deserved it (5846)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

#15227856
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39805) - you deserved it (3880)

On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (9923)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (40959)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15598) - you deserved it (33227)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

#14608702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (3262) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (8697)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47405) - you deserved it (5522)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (9506)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (68049)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (5975)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: