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rosenkrieger

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rosenkrieger

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 185
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rosenkrieger's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML

#19168741
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8954) - you deserved it (32206)

On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (7127)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

#19161181
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6295) - you deserved it (25874)

On 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm - health - by Jared (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML

#18891757
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by unholy shit (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (15528)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35285) - you deserved it (4741)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (2194)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (8242)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34870) - you deserved it (4397)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22546) - you deserved it (3532)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (4146)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

#17066735
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (3284)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by MakeItMaaco (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36521) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13668) - you deserved it (47920)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)



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