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rose_anne

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rose_anne

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rose_anne's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

#21317384
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (5160)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (4228)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (6067)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26514) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (2638)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

#21314671
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (2454)

On 12/09/2014 at 8:56pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36492) - you deserved it (3592)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (2228)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

#21312517
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (7148)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm - misc - by newly passed, newly grassed (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (5855)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (6336)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)



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