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rosco98's favorite FMLs
by LarissaT18 / 02/02/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by cycler / 06/13/2011 at 12:22am / United States / Animals
by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2010 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Transportation
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Intimacy
Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML
by ardenm / 02/12/2009 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
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- Today, being a nurse's daughter, I got used to get rid of my pimples by the use of needles. I never… Today, I went to the toilet at a restaurant. I noticed a hole in the floor next to the toilet but… Today, I work as a cashier at McDonalds. Some guy came in and ordered a $1.50 coffee and payed with…