[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

roraven

Search for a member

roraven
  • Town/Country : Royal Oak, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 July 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

roraven's last visitors

Praesse

roraven's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

roraven's favorite FMLs

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (7795)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (26269) - you deserved it (3153)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (8455) - you deserved it (762)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (20533)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (1132)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (6285)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (1720)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (8627)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (15843) - you deserved it (4996)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

#13590794 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm - intimacy - by shiznit - United States (Florida)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (12584) - you deserved it (18919)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (35439) - you deserved it (3439)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

#3969079 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (40887) - you deserved it (6327)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

#3939096 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (39111) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)