About rookEV : Im an artist, and I have a bad temper. That's about all you need to know.
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rookEV's favorite FMLs
by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML
by midwesternpetclerk / 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Work
by explainer / 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy
by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by lprocter1982 / 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous
by Cat / 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy