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rookEV

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rookEV
  • Town/Country : Butler, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About rookEV : Im an artist, and I have a bad temper. That's about all you need to know.

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rookEV's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42073) - you deserved it (36794)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (23909)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (17023)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48692) - you deserved it (6227)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

#18198070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28433) - you deserved it (1931)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (2148)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (6223)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (7677)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35906) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (5843)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29341) - you deserved it (2426)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

#18184831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (5004)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. His response? "It's not like I liked it." FML

#18180639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35079) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by Cat - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (8938)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States



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