About roo112 : Don't mind me, just trying to get an FML published.
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roo112's favorite FMLs
by klutz44 / 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by pikachu_43 / 03/21/2015 at 11:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML
by manderpander21 / 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML
by musicteacher / 03/12/2015 at 6:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by pregz / 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 1:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2015 at 9:34am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML
by iamamermaid / 01/20/2015 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by bad luck Bianca / 01/17/2015 at 5:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
- Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.… Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving…