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About roo112 : Don't mind me, just trying to get an FML published.
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TODAY... MAH MOM AN I MADE THE BAD DECISION TO GO HIKING FOR SOME MOTHER-DAUGHTER BONDING EVEN THOUGH WE HAD LITTLE EXPERIENCE. MY MOTHER TUMBLD DOWN A MOUNTAIN NAMD TUMBLEDOWN AN I COULDN'T EVEN ENJOY THE IRONY BECAUSE I HAD TO HALF CARRY HER ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE CAR. FML
Today , I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML
today my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful babby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drive 4 work. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out 4 bieng pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut an saying she hoped mah baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 an just very short.
Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit 4 the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip . After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep . A few hours later, I looool woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed . I have an acne mustache . FML
Today, mah wife wantd me to take her to a new restaurant in town . When I lookd it up and saw thier prices, I almost had a heart attack . When I said it was too expensive, she snappd ( Maybe you'd lyk to look up 'Lorena looool Bobbitt' next?! ) We went to the restaurant . FML
TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND GAVE ME MY FRST HANDJOB. I WAS NERVOUS... SOHEN SHE WENT TO DO IT... I PANICKD AND YELLD... "FRMLY GRASP IT!" SHE THEN COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING CUZ IT WAS A LINE FROM SPONGEBOB. FML
Today I was sitting at mah computer petting one of mah cats ho was sitting on mah lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto mah lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML
Friday 27 March 2015