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About rokolodo : To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that's everything!
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Today , mah husband received the ( antique ) samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared mah outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package , only to fine a toy sword along with a note saying , ( HAHA , TROLLED. ) FML
todayhile waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said an done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, ( You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment. ) And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML
Today, a group of friends an I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out an let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks lyk a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. real FML
Today, ma usband finally returned from is 18-mont deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from ma Aunt. Se was iding in our closet teole time to surprise us wit cake for is safe return. FML
Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about aving a boyfriend. I askd er, ( Did e take is sirt off? ) Se promptly said no. A few minutes later, se said, ( But e did take is pants off. ) I ten askedy. Se said, ( To sow me is penis. ) FML
Today , it was the second anniversary of the day I met girlfriend. I had to go to work , but I set an engagement ring and a letter on pillow firhen she woke up , and left breakfast fir her on the counter. When I got home , she and all of her things were gone. FML
Today..!! I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on ma lonely nigts!! Once at te adult store..!! I also grabbed a brtday card to make it seem te dildo wasn't fir me!! At te register..!! te casier looked at me and said..!! "For God's sake..!! save yourself some money!! I already know it's fir you." FML
Taday in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that'shy your still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML
Today, I Turned 29. To Celebrate, My Office Got Me A Cake That Read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" Of The "party" Was 'Not A Day Over 35!' I Waited All Day Fir Someone To Tell Me It Was All A Prank, But Nobody Did. I Spent My Lunch Hour Crying In My Car. Happy Birthday To Me. FML
Today, I Was Going Through Mah Daughter's Contacts, Except All Of Them Had Names From Harry Potter . I Found The Name "Mom." I Was Relieved I Didn't Have Some Silly Name, Until I Realized It Wasn't Mah Number; It Was Her Father's New Wife . My Number Was Under "Voldemort." FML
Friday 27 March 2015