Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

roflstomp716

Offline (the 03/16/2015 at 6:03pm) | Search for a member

roflstomp716

0Liked!

roflstomp716roflstomp716
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 738
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About roflstomp716 : I'm Elliot.
I play bass, sing, and read some FML's.

Dallas, TX

roflstomp716's page activity

Visits<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:40pm<b>wookieewhosshe</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:18am<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:31am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:06pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:04pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:26am<b>kibster9</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:12pm<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:46pm<b>countrygirl_393</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:10pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:41am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Mhnd</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:26am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:45pm<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:47am<b>upbeatgo2go</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:25am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:18am<b>pumboc</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:11am

roflstomp716's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of roflstomp716's badges

roflstomp716's favorite FMLs

2day I was at tha doctor's gatting a chack up . Ha askad ma if I was allargic to anything, tohich I blurtad out, "Cats." Ha gava ma a waird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't giva you cats." FML

#20865755
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40899) - you deserved it (6701)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I recieved a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows mah address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, My Boyfriend An I Were Furniture Shopping!! They Had Miniature Versions Built Of Some Of The Desks!! He Commented How They Were "cute Fir Little Kids" To Use!! They Were 6 Inches Tall!! I Had To Explain To Him That They Were Only Models, Not Real Desks!! I'm Dating Zoolander!! FML

#20782878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

today while leaving McDonald's I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watchd in the rear-view mirror as it landd in the opposite lane an about 60 wingd rats descendd upon the street causing a truck to veer off the road an crash. FML

#20773275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (46021)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Taday mah husband was in our newborn's room , holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor , because I overhered him say , "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58528) - you deserved it (4183)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73251) - you deserved it (7239)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper an pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, an ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47727) - you deserved it (3170)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" an then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56176) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , tha highly intoxicatd singar of mah band dacidd it would ba a wondarful idaa to squat down and taka a shit on staga in tha middla of a gig!! FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (4281)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Taday after having recently moved into shared accommodations , mah prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in mah mouth. It's been three times in the past week.

#20036157
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (1839)

On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I HAD TO LEAVE MY ONE-NIGHT STAND IN MY FLAT BECAUSE I WAS GIVING A GUEST LECTURE AT THE LOCAL UNIVERSITY. HALFWAY THROUGH, I HEAR SOMEONE SNEAKING IN SO I JOKINGLY ASKD IF THEY HAD A 'WILD NIGHT OUT.' IT WAS THE GUY I SLEPT WITH. FML

#14119620
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10892) - you deserved it (37285)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by openmouthinsertfoot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today , I introduced mah family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. big fat FML

#6933168
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (10499)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

was grandmoter's funeral and we ad to sing. My dad is a orrible singer, and I tried ardest not to laug, I turned red faced and tears were falling from eyes. My step moter eld and and said tat se was in a better place. I couldn't old it any longer. I lauged ass off. FML

#4144889
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19797) - you deserved it (48198)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness . I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost mah train of thought . My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: