roflstomp716

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Offline (the 04/25/2016 at 3:33am)

roflstomp716

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 July 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1047
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About roflstomp716 : I'm Elliot.
I play bass, sing, and read some FML's.

Dallas, TX

roflstomp716's page activity

Visits<b>rodrigun449</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:09am<b>FinnTheNotHuman</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:44am<b>fmyfriendslives</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:39pm<b>shanewh40</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:31am<b>lissa_jade</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:11am<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:43pm<b>rahatb98</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 8:56am<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:40pm<b>wookieewhosshe</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:18am<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:31am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:06pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:04pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:26am<b>kibster9</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:12pm<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:46pm<b>countrygirl_393</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:10pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:15am

roflstomp716's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of roflstomp716's badges

roflstomp716's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

by idontbleedfromthere / 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

by openmouthinsertfoot / 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

by katzperiod / 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.