About roe010992 : bb bvcfxnvmbvjdfab
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14925) - you deserved it (25022)
On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9128) - you deserved it (22464)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by RedFace (woman) - United States
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8875) - you deserved it (29668)
On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -
Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6849) - you deserved it (38379)
On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (4691)
On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (2093)
On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -
Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (3661)
On 04/04/2011 at 3:47pm - money - by DaisyMay (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (8609)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (10805)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89499) - you deserved it (5453)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, my sister thought it would be hilarious to tell our strict Catholic parents I was sleeping around and had gotten pregnant. They believed her, and dragged me down to the clinic for tests. I proved I wasn't pregnant. However, the doctor said it was more than likely that I have an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (16504)
On 04/01/2011 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Yolanda19 - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18694) - you deserved it (8126)
On 03/31/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33062) - you deserved it (6145)
On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (7657)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60866) - you deserved it (7583)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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