About rockyraccoon28 : hi, i'm emily.
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rockyraccoon28's favorite FMLs
by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work
by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
by missy / 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm / United States (Alaska) / Transportation
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML
by StatusSearch / 05/26/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by me / 04/30/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Health
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by sexyredhead / 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Love
Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML
by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work
- Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him… Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…