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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, after getting a root canal, I told mah mother how boring it was just sitting there with mah mouth open fir ageshile the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with mah father. FML
TODAY, I WOKE UP LATE AND HAD TO RUSH TO CATCH BUS. UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL, I WAS HOT FROM RUNNING AND TOOK OFF SWEATER. IT WAS THEN, IN A LECTURE HALL WITH 400 PEOPLE, THAT I REALISED I HADN'T PUTTED A SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH. FML
Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML
Today.. . I woke up to the sound of mah newborn screaming . I frantically hoppd out of bd an stumbld into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of mah five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfed her understandably frustratd little brother . FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons 4 a party in recognition of our company's huge merger!! Instead, he made condom balloons!! Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms 4 a prestigious company event!! A company whose CEO is named Dick!! looool FML
TODAY... MY FIANCÉ IS RETURNING OME... SO I DECIDED TO WAX MYSELF... TINKING TINGS WOULD GET INTIMATE. I WARMED TE WAX STRIPS AN SET TEM ON TE COUNTER. OUR CAT JUMPED ONTO TE COUNTER AN MANAGED TO ROLL ONTO ONE OF TE STRIPS. SUFFICE TO SAY... TE WRONG PUSSY GOT A PAINFUL WAXING. FML
YESTERDAY I WENT TO BUY A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FIR MAH BOYFRIEND . WHILE BUYING HIM A SWEATER, THE CASHIER TRID TO UP-SALE ME BY ASKING IF MAH BOYFRIEND WORE BRIEFS OR BOXERS, BECAUSE BOTH WERE ON SALE . NOT THINKING, I BLURTD OUT, "I DON'T KNOW, THEY JUST COME OFF." FML
Friday 27 March 2015