Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

robinhoood

Search for a member

robinhoood
  • Town/Country : Space Mountain, DisneyLand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 October 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 240409
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About robinhoood : I'll eat your brain to gain your knowledge.

robinhoood's last visitors

NWO666MinaGermaniaBmxingVladashMichelleRuzickaBlingBangkewlkaliamc597Minou

robinhoood's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

robinhoood's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

#3799026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (4594)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55156) - you deserved it (3364)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49833) - you deserved it (3433)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

#3731184
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (7744)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8879) - you deserved it (40676)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8879) - you deserved it (40676)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44222) - you deserved it (11187)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65646) - you deserved it (11399)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (21628)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (1531)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

#3475605
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (8994)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by Peta2nNoMore (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61054) - you deserved it (11747)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML

#3469762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13336) - you deserved it (54588)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Foster_Em - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54463) - you deserved it (2746)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, I was driving with a friend when we saw a wallet in the middle of his neighborhood road. When we picked it up, we saw it was loaded with cash. We drove to the mans house to return the wallet, and when we handed it to him he told us "I would give you a reward but I don't have any cash." FML

#3465989
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40178) - you deserved it (4771)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by Hayls5 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: