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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML
Today, I went to ma crus's ouse . We were watcing a movieen suddenly e started kissing me . As it deepened e began to feel around . He was groping ma armpit teole time but I was too embarrassed tat ma underarm could pass for ma boobs to redirect im . FML
TADAY MAH NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING GRANDMA BOUGHT ME A NEW T-SHRT. IT WOULD'VE BEEN SWEET IF IT DIDN'T HAVE THE WORD ( BONDAGE ) WRITTEN ON THE BACK IN PRETTY, BOLD LETTERS. I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO WEAR IT WHILE WE WENT SHOPPING. FML
Taday I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
TODAY ON MAH WAY TO BURGER KING I GOT INTO A HEATED DISCUSSION WITH MAH WIFE ABOUT OUR CATS. WE HAVE 15 RESCUES AND I'VE REACHED MAH LIMIT. GUESS WAT CUMMED RUNNING UP TO MAH CARHILE WAITING IN THE DRIVE-THROUGH. WE NAMED HIM PICKLES. FML
2DAY I WAS TEXTING AN ARTIST FRIEND TELLING HER I WANTED TO BUY HER PAINTINGS; GOING ON AN ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I WANTED IT AN LOVED THE WAY THEY LOOKED AN COULDN'T WAIT TO HAVE THEM. I REALIZED MAH PHONE HAD CORRECTED PAINTINGS TO PANTIES. FML
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter mah house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, mah 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of mah head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
2day I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look lyk I burned my face. FML
Today, I was tanning nuda in my backyard, whan I took a pictura of our dog lying in tha grass and sant it to my dad!! It was only aftar I lookad at tha pictura indoors that I raalizad my nippla had mada it into tha pictura too!! raal FML
2day my friand hrad a mala strippar to giva ma a lap danca fir my brthday. It was all pratty nica until ha lat rip ona of tha most nausaating farts I'va avar ancountarad, right in my faca. Hours latar, I can still small it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015