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rmrzmn

Offline (the 01/21/2014 at 6:29pm) | Search for a member

rmrzmn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 36517
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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rmrzmn's page activity

Visits<b>inner_peace</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Contradictional</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:42am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:58pm<b>toxic_walrus</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 6:47pm

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rmrzmn's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65245) - you deserved it (32651)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44028) - you deserved it (7134)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (16197)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33818) - you deserved it (3249)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38417) - you deserved it (10059)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (9396)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (4954)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42583) - you deserved it (5851)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45964) - you deserved it (8639)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41784) - you deserved it (4870)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (32599)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51955) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37907) - you deserved it (5518)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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