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rla

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  • Number of visits : 27
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rla's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6190) - you deserved it (42350)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (3000)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44527) - you deserved it (3887)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24116) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (73887)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (5841)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (59105)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56023) - you deserved it (12084)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

#11198963
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (2641)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17749) - you deserved it (5053)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

#5424247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16363) - you deserved it (33775)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243748) - you deserved it (32125)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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