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rjoker0413

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rjoker0413

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 April 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About rjoker0413 : I work in IT and find my self hating the day half the time. This website either makes me laugh and feel better or puts things into perspective knowing things could be worse.

rjoker0413's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 12:31am

rjoker0413's FML badges

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

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rjoker0413's favorite FMLs

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (2902)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31939) - you deserved it (5958)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

#20399685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16225) - you deserved it (9855)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML

#18419165
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (3581)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (3100)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

#18417411
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29342) - you deserved it (7335)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32817) - you deserved it (5344)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you deserved it (8617)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (31168)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

#18416702
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30072) - you deserved it (2411)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (4218)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

#18414654
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27240) - you deserved it (4187)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21537) - you deserved it (3174)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

#18413058
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8856) - you deserved it (36847)

On 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by gtfb1993 - Canada (Ontario)



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