About rjoker0413 : I work in IT and find my self hating the day half the time. This website either makes me laugh and feel better or puts things into perspective knowing things could be worse.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (2457)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (4374)
On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12258) - you deserved it (8775)
On 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22784) - you deserved it (2635)
On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15456) - you deserved it (2311)
On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (2042)
On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salt and water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (5579)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (4027)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (6382)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States
Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (21780)
On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (1698)
On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (3054)
On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22170) - you deserved it (3649)
On 12/02/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (2314)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7185) - you deserved it (26088)
On 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by gtfb1993 - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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