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rivity55's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
by kingpin7 / 03/30/2011 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
by Lisaaa / 10/27/2010 at 7:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML
by WhiteLiar / 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Isabell / 02/06/2010 at 12:31am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
by SOdamnNervous / 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…