Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rivity55

Search for a member

rivity55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rivity55's page activity

Visits<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:48am<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:34pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:28pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 6:03am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:55pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:39am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 1:44am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:44am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:45pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:54pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:00pm<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:53am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 9:57pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 7:02am

rivity55's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of rivity55's badges

rivity55's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58645) - you deserved it (4672)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54844) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72343) - you deserved it (3724)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (4805)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (9428)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10792) - you deserved it (30074)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (5035)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (2256)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17713) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (5506)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

#6734413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6625) - you deserved it (19578)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9116) - you deserved it (36594)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13791) - you deserved it (47782)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112617) - you deserved it (8479)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: