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rivity55

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rivity55

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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rivity55's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (3995)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57977) - you deserved it (4615)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53469) - you deserved it (5272)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66372) - you deserved it (3356)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46072) - you deserved it (4710)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (7722)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9947) - you deserved it (28443)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30559) - you deserved it (4001)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (2185)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16951) - you deserved it (4948)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (5442)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

#6734413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (17485)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (35062)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13380) - you deserved it (47116)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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