Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rivity55

Search for a member

rivity55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rivity55's page activity

Visits<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:48am<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:34pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:28pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 6:03am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:55pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:39am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 1:44am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:44am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:45pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:54pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:00pm<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:53am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 9:57pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 7:02am

rivity55's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of rivity55's badges

rivity55's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58559) - you deserved it (4668)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54786) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72274) - you deserved it (3720)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47326) - you deserved it (4801)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (9422)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10575) - you deserved it (29747)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (5029)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (2251)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17654) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30697) - you deserved it (5500)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

#6734413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6610) - you deserved it (19537)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9103) - you deserved it (36542)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13774) - you deserved it (47735)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: