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rivity55

Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 4:32am) | Search for a member

rivity55

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rivity55's page activity

Visits<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:48am<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:34pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 5:28pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 6:03am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:55pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:39am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 1:44am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:44am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:45pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:54pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:00pm<b>SuperPizzaMan</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:53am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 9:57pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:42pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 7:02am

rivity55's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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rivity55's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46456) - you deserved it (2896)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77255) - you deserved it (5280)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71077) - you deserved it (5050)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67215) - you deserved it (9916)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (41703)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59338) - you deserved it (4420)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50545) - you deserved it (10852)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (3800)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48768) - you deserved it (21848)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (12402)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (5664)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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