This member hasn't filled in the description.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (3041)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went outside to scrape the inch and a half of ice off my car so I could get to work. After half an hour of intense scraping, I realized that it wasn't my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10860) - you deserved it (18050)
On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (12571)
On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (4167)
On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (5488)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (1685)
On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (24384)
On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (5732)
On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (1989)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31015) - you deserved it (2801)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44474) - you deserved it (6601)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6768) - you deserved it (43403)
On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore
Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (2176)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (2107)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6929) - you deserved it (52689)
On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
