Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

riotofquiet

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

riotofquiet

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1387
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

riotofquiet's page activity

Visits<b>hockeyoceancity</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 9:13am

riotofquiet's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of riotofquiet's badges

riotofquiet's favorite FMLs

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17792) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (2204)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29486) - you deserved it (1987)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

#21331295
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (6356)

On 01/05/2015 at 12:58pm - kids - by midwify (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (4280)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (2637)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (4279)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

#21322693
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (2580)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Unknown - United States (Ohio)

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (2732)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (5712)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (6221)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML

#21313670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (4296)

On 12/08/2014 at 9:12am - love - by lovethateuropeanblood (woman) - Japan (Osaka)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: