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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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riliana412

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riliana412
  • Town/Country : united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 474
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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riliana412's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

#6128327 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (19362) - you deserved it (3644)

On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came to a realization that the closest people to me in my life, the ones who are warm and welcoming, who're happy to see me, who honestly wanna know how I've been and how I feel, whose smiles make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, are the baristas at Starbucks, not my actual 'friends'. FML

#5423861 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (3805)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (24122)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48200) - you deserved it (8639)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (40586) - you deserved it (11983)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (922) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (14899)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (51323) - you deserved it (4755)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

I agree, your life sucks (10487) - you deserved it (29480)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (5017)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

#3926899 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (9557)

On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

#3730184 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (39436) - you deserved it (9898)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (36081) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while working at McDonald's a car full of obnoxious teens came through. They had made a $30 order, and handed me a tin of small change, claiming that on a McDonald's ad they saw that we, employees, liked counting change. I had to count out $30 in spare change during a rush period at work. FML

#3659409 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (3112)

On 07/11/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Meow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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