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rikki_raccoon

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rikki_raccoon

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  • Number of visits : 18
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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rikki_raccoon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me for another guy not so long ago, because he was more handsome and talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: "He's out of my league; you're not." FML

#20777616
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48497) - you deserved it (3957)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62484) - you deserved it (10832)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (3917)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58445) - you deserved it (3606)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (11604)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (49156)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57703) - you deserved it (6817)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99344) - you deserved it (11614)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (36938)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59087) - you deserved it (3664)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

#20775381
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53084) - you deserved it (3147)

On 07/11/2013 at 12:52am - health - by frustrated - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49496) - you deserved it (5124)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

#20774966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (3885)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by myl1f3isfuct (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44944) - you deserved it (9163)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)



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