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rickster1000

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 6:25am) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 5276
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rickster1000's FML badges

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51335) - you deserved it (7131)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

#20906604
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (4095)

On 10/03/2013 at 10:56pm - love - by Annoyed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41492) - you deserved it (2755)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (28938)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (3505)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (4695)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38090) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49860) - you deserved it (5749)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47815) - you deserved it (8424)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (47143)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (7131)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents favoritism towards my brother really shone through when we moved house and he got the nicest and by far biggest room. I wouldn't mind, but my brother is in college overseas and never comes home. FML

#20905397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (2318)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57281) - you deserved it (13950)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)



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