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rickster1000

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rickster1000
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  • Number of visits : 3411
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (7937)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51508) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47095) - you deserved it (8821)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32675) - you deserved it (2757)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41518) - you deserved it (2826)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (7403)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (7631) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (2161)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (3662)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48013) - you deserved it (14211)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42298) - you deserved it (4869)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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