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rickster1000

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rickster1000
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  • Number of visits : 3355
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48383) - you deserved it (3890)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (3874)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43272) - you deserved it (2423)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

#20996935
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (14209)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Rob (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44005) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (5377)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (11599)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I played in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience and were brought to tears. Not because it was beautiful, but because they were sad to see how much the music program had declined since they left. FML

#20994103
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (3994)

On 12/15/2013 at 10:44pm - misc - by NotTalented - United States (Colorado)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35307) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (2553)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46440) - you deserved it (5063)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

#20992711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (6895)

On 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

#20992659
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36457) - you deserved it (3201)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42906) - you deserved it (7376)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -



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