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rickster1000

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 1:25am) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 4934
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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (8935)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

#13372336
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (5065)

On 10/08/2010 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by mster233 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (4888)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

#13346165
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8132) - you deserved it (31732)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Remember the parking brake - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10714) - you deserved it (51099)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (3484)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (5035)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

#13284441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (4263)

On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40482) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

#13269256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (3913)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:55pm - love - by dontask (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16796) - you deserved it (38673)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16059) - you deserved it (25937)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

#13213227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12827) - you deserved it (33374)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version



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