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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32389) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

#13038261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30892) - you deserved it (2392)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got out our electric fan because it was very hot. A cockroach crawled up behind the frame on the fan and fell into the gap of the frame. It got itself killed by the rotating fan, and had its blended flesh sent flying all over my white polo shirt. FML

#13015413
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (3639)

On 09/12/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by roachblend (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22146) - you deserved it (8409)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (9628)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, my 8 year old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML

#12989156
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (4099)

On 09/10/2010 at 10:56am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (9301)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (5192)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (34881)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

#12957877
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (2088)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by bustedfornuthin - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (20929)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (6548)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)



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