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rickster1000

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 6:27am) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 6451
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (3551)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

#13527563
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (2932)

On 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8602) - you deserved it (30103)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (3539)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (7991)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (3061)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

#13464373
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29996) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

#13454741
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (2704)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (9037)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (8122)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (6747)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (8323)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (8954)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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