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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40408) - you deserved it (3250)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47102) - you deserved it (6391)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (15624)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10101) - you deserved it (48828)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46449) - you deserved it (7197)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

#16762179
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (5135)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:14pm - health - by Me - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46591) - you deserved it (3852)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

#16761354
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (7261)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:59am - misc - by m2k (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14769) - you deserved it (35408)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55219) - you deserved it (6861)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (23612)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80677) - you deserved it (6627)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

#16723796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32443) - you deserved it (6003)

On 06/18/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by callie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML

#16693545
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (6492)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:43am - intimacy - by - United States (Texas)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15088) - you deserved it (215665)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States



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