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rickster1000

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rickster1000
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  • Number of visits : 3308
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (105583)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (52181)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28183) - you deserved it (6780)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10042) - you deserved it (35857)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (8963)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700 mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML

#11704209
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (10527)

On 07/06/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

#11548771
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17633) - you deserved it (24051)

On 06/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by Tp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (22642)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

#11531081
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (6156)

On 06/29/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Alissa - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (31684)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52381) - you deserved it (9985)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I won an academic award during an assembly. Everyone laughed, followed by booing. FML

#11424591
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36413) - you deserved it (4299)

On 06/24/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Colbasaur - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (44848)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

#11240102
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12850) - you deserved it (36942)

On 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by theorifice (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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