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rickster1000

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 1:25am) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 5001
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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML

#16693545
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (6398)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:43am - intimacy - by - United States (Texas)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15002) - you deserved it (212969)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44723) - you deserved it (6005)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (7882)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML

#16661429
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (5343)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by :( (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50226) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

#16588229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (11712)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (6414)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (16311)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16570) - you deserved it (41338)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (37939)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35807) - you deserved it (13076)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

#16466098
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30587) - you deserved it (2672)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11098) - you deserved it (39046)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -



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