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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 4482
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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36868) - you deserved it (6951)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
560 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (16975)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (7643)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (29577)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (8186)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (8231)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (4127)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

#17751654
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32000) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by poop towel - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36897) - you deserved it (3917)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41121) - you deserved it (6169)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (5180)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (32230)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85041) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML

#17714395
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (11741)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm - money - by calebeutsler - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
579 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (232259)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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