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rich443's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
by Anonymous / 03/18/2009 at 10:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML
by Kathrynn / 03/06/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
by jacks_smirking_revenge / 03/06/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
by MrCanoe / 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
by isuckatlife / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 01/31/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
by sm@rtie / 01/03/2009 at 3:38am / Miscellaneous
by mael / 11/25/2008 at 3:54am / Intimacy