Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rhoeft95

Search for a member

rhoeft95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About rhoeft95 : Why don't you just ask

rhoeft95's page activity

Visits<b>gamergirl8525</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:25pm<b>Ohmslaw79</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:40am<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:23pm

rhoeft95's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of rhoeft95's badges

rhoeft95's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42591) - you deserved it (4401)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47231) - you deserved it (5246)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51646) - you deserved it (4525)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43067) - you deserved it (5448)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (3612)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56082) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (55621)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44663) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

#21039586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42077) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48562) - you deserved it (5766)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44743) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53543) - you deserved it (32460)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56687) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (4989)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: