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rhenerlau

Offline (the 10/10/2014 at 6:18am) | Search for a member

rhenerlau

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 634
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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rhenerlau's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (4168)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (6321)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63807) - you deserved it (8104)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (4738)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (3493)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43369) - you deserved it (9399)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (85371)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62746) - you deserved it (4599)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45679) - you deserved it (8378)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38540) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (10688)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41729) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (4514)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)



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