Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rexgar2000

Search for a member

rexgar2000
  • Town/Country : Chicago, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 September 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 913
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About rexgar2000 : Just here :)

If you reading this, you're stalking.... Lol



For whom may ask, that picture is 4 years old.
Proud Sergeant in the US Army looking for a laugh.

rexgar2000's last visitors

FedergirlLeeBnotachinesewomanNWO666aloringalexmac222ariastyles12

rexgar2000's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of rexgar2000's badges

rexgar2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (5135)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (2036)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (2556)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

#16279756
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85422) - you deserved it (4761)

On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84241) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75744) - you deserved it (15341)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74341) - you deserved it (10288)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72873) - you deserved it (4278)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (618080) - you deserved it (414424)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68662) - you deserved it (7215)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1097008) - you deserved it (108909)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65424) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: