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Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60528) - you totally deserved it (2173)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (68889) - you totally deserved it (12060)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6509) - you totally deserved it (47468)
On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin Donut's coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double D's you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the Coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you totally deserved it (58152)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57656) - you totally deserved it (2582)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you totally deserved it (40885)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67952) - you totally deserved it (2178)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you totally deserved it (9439)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (157426) - you totally deserved it (10528)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you totally deserved it (2571)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)
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