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reneetlovesyou

Offline (the 01/24/2015 at 7:45pm) | Search for a member

reneetlovesyou

16Liked!

reneetlovesyoureneetlovesyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2376
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm like 10% female, 50% awkward, 50% sass, and 100% bad at math.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>Risea</b> - 18 hours ago<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Jae_Hellyun</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:28am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:17am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 4:30pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:25am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:26pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:34am<b>StraightKing</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:34am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:42am<b>emilycardona7</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:29pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 4:22pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:27pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 6:14pm<b>mrainesm</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:18pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:59pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:34pm

Liked!<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 3:59am<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:34pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:55am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:20pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 9:38pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:01am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:28am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:13am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:08am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:10pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:12am<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:30pm<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:55pm

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (4196)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (11533)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (6137)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (11219)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (4037)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (3209)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45456) - you deserved it (11763)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43835) - you deserved it (6568)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38203) - you deserved it (10778)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (10891)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML



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