Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

reneetlovesyou

Online | Search for a member

reneetlovesyou

11Liked!

reneetlovesyoureneetlovesyou
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2116
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm like 10% female, 50% awkward, 50% sass, and 100% bad at math.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>ricardof</b> - one hour ago<b>abn110</b> - 3 hours ago<b>braver7315</b> - 8 hours ago<b>FrankHotpants</b> - 13 hours ago<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Tamiaxoxo00</b> - 15 hours ago<b>myselfkk</b> - 17 hours ago<b>nightfire2258</b> - 17 hours ago<b>edmunson</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Kevin1157</b> - 18 hours ago<b>FiendHunter</b> - 20 hours ago<b>the_rude_dude</b> - 21 hours ago<b>pratikp03</b> - 22 hours ago<b>TheAwesomeTyta</b> - 24 hours ago<b>AnOriginalName</b> - yesterday at 3:08pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - yesterday at 1:19pm<b>ShinyPikachu</b> - yesterday at 1:15pm<b>pooldude</b> - yesterday at 12:39pm

Liked!<b>pratikp03</b> - 16 hours ago<b>NebulaNick</b> - yesterday at 5:33pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:28am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:13am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:08am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:10pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:12am<b>jelenac</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:30pm<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:55pm

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42698) - you deserved it (10882)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43087) - you deserved it (6519)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (10614)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36983) - you deserved it (10793)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35182) - you deserved it (11512)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53189) - you deserved it (10131)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69027) - you deserved it (5454)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

#21205700
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43649) - you deserved it (4376)

On 07/11/2014 at 2:04am - health - by Useless training - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: