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rene22

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 10:45pm) | Search for a member

rene22

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2508
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About rene22 : I don't say much

rene22's page activity

Visits<b>gregsgirlfriend</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:53am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:07pm<b>Discombobulated9</b> - the 11/07/2010 at 5:03pm

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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rene22's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (21790)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36285) - you deserved it (3431)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44504) - you deserved it (16519)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (36105)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (3179)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44619) - you deserved it (3115)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51708) - you deserved it (11299)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (52611)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47010) - you deserved it (6116)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (53476)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom



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