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rend0nbay
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Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (1864)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (11886)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (11495)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22674) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (5529) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56327) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (15169)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (15035)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58155) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (6622) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14541) - you deserved it (22135)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (2958)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

#6958036
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (2353)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:47pm - love - by Vicky - United Kingdom (Barnsley)



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