About renaee : Fuck it, I'm actually going to fill this out.
• New kid on the block.
• My life is great but when something I deem FML-worthy happens and I try to share it with this site, the system fails me. :c
With that bit of pity party out of the way...
Things that I like may include but are not limited to:
• Cussing, motherfucker
• Extremely loud and totally unrealistic action movies
• Bubbles baths
• Puppies
• Music of any kind
• Boning
Things that I dislike (also may include but are not limited to):
• Meatloaf!
• Public education systems
• Politics
• Religion
• Chunky jewelry
• Shit-for-brains
If anybody ever takes the time to read this all the way through, I would be oh so grateful to hear about it.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (14781)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45134) - you deserved it (6156)
On 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (214268)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73217) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40319) - you deserved it (5122)
On 05/20/2009 at 9:50pm - love - by chickennoodlesoup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (52232)
On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64064) - you deserved it (3429)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65052) - you deserved it (6427)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62258) - you deserved it (20227)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108055) - you deserved it (6893)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108055) - you deserved it (6893)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60778) - you deserved it (2700)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59052) - you deserved it (3581)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67148) - you deserved it (22279)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71412) - you deserved it (4426)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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