About renaee : Fuck it, I'm actually going to fill this out.
• New kid on the block.
• My life is great but when something I deem FML-worthy happens and I try to share it with this site, the system fails me. :c
With that bit of pity party out of the way...
Things that I like may include but are not limited to:
• Cussing, motherfucker
• Extremely loud and totally unrealistic action movies
• Bubbles baths
• Puppies
• Music of any kind
• Boning
Things that I dislike (also may include but are not limited to):
• Meatloaf!
• Public education systems
• Politics
• Religion
• Chunky jewelry
• Shit-for-brains
If anybody ever takes the time to read this all the way through, I would be oh so grateful to hear about it.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (4298)
On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (5100)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (6781)
On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (3847)
On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3052)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56628) - you deserved it (3641)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (35123)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33690) - you deserved it (2416)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32751) - you deserved it (3283)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (2889)
On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (8425)
On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40460) - you deserved it (3591)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25440) - you deserved it (14563)
On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - work - by _philliesfan (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41461) - you deserved it (12284)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45079) - you deserved it (6154)
On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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