About renaee : Fuck it, I'm actually going to fill this out.
• New kid on the block.
• My life is great but when something I deem FML-worthy happens and I try to share it with this site, the system fails me. :c
With that bit of pity party out of the way...
Things that I like may include but are not limited to:
• Cussing, motherfucker
• Extremely loud and totally unrealistic action movies
• Bubbles baths
• Puppies
• Music of any kind
• Boning
Things that I dislike (also may include but are not limited to):
• Meatloaf!
• Public education systems
• Politics
• Religion
• Chunky jewelry
• Shit-for-brains
If anybody ever takes the time to read this all the way through, I would be oh so grateful to hear about it.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (1043)
On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (5120)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28885) - you deserved it (8539)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52684) - you deserved it (4294)
On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (12482)
On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (5090)
On 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm - love - by sherryberry2013 - United States
Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (63479) - you deserved it (2811)
On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom
Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82353) - you deserved it (4703)
On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (2664)
On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25003) - you deserved it (9185)
On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -
Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3047)
On 04/18/2011 at 4:12pm - work - by waterdog - United States
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (12406)
On 02/02/2011 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Missy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (1876)
On 12/11/2010 at 8:55pm - misc - by kingkarnie - United States
Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (2962)
On 11/20/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Tasha84 - United States (Texas)
Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8092) - you deserved it (20326)
On 11/11/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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