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relaxedninja

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relaxedninja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3565
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - 10 hours ago<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:14am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:54am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:10pm<b>zombi3_queen</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:10pm<b>jplaya93</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:35am<b>allie2590</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Marebare23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:36pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:49am<b>weirdly_cute</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:31am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:04pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>RadarOReilly</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:51pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:19am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:16am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:44pm

relaxedninja's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52033) - you deserved it (19030)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

#21124555
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45515) - you deserved it (7975)

On 04/27/2014 at 6:08pm - love - by phuckbukket7 (man) - United States

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54732) - you deserved it (25483)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (53859)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (11439)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (8467)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (12878)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

#21101967
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38576) - you deserved it (10831)

On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (5694)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

#21094928
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41854) - you deserved it (5347)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

#21094011
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47151) - you deserved it (6656)

On 03/23/2014 at 1:31am - intimacy - by BustedEgo (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

#21093499
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (3197)

On 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16486) - you deserved it (62567)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51264) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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