About relaxedninja : ???
relaxedninja's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
relaxedninja's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
by jayswizzle89 / 07/29/2014 at 3:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by birthday girl / 07/26/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
by asshalf15 / 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML
by notadoorman / 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 11:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm / Cura?ao / Work
- Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our… Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know… Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some…
- Today, I finally finished the short story that is my last assignment of high school! I also found a… Today, I was just about to open up to my best friend about my depression and loneliness when I see… Today, after waiting weeks to hear back from his insurance agency, I got a call telling me that the…