Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 6:18pm) | Search for a member

relaxedninja

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5487
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About relaxedninja : ???

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>fabs1171</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:36am<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:39am<b>starlinks898</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:18pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:10am<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:32am<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:53am<b>jillytc</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:33am<b>xxxbooxxx</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 12:42am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:33am<b>PePziNL</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:58pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:06am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:54am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:10am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:44pm<b>countrygirl09199</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:12pm<b>iamkats</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:41am

Fucked!<b>angelofmusic1895</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:29pm<b>xxxbooxxx</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 6:42am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:06pm

relaxedninja's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49304) - you deserved it (6191)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40719) - you deserved it (2538)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21793) - you deserved it (41117)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (9442) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42185) - you deserved it (3655)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked for time off from work for my wedding and honeymoon. A grand total of three days. My boss made a face like he'd sucked on rancid toes and asked me if I was stupid. Awesome. FML

#21237232
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:15am - work - by BrokeBride (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40743) - you deserved it (2925)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (4566)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45267) - you deserved it (10943)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (27809)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26269) - you deserved it (32817)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39636) - you deserved it (2974)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52642) - you deserved it (6880)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: