About relaxedninja : ???
relaxedninja's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
relaxedninja's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
by stepshart / 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by lentmarz / 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML
by StephLo / 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
by UnSupported / 08/14/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by BrokeBride / 08/14/2014 at 3:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm / New Zealand / Kids
Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 10:18am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Work
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML
by vicious_fashion / 08/12/2014 at 1:34am / United States (Idaho) / Health
Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML
by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
- Today, locked out of my house for hours, I had to shit so badly that I found myself squatting under… Today, I woke up in a semi-conscious and very confused state. I was so confused that, in order to… Today, I was playing video games in the dark and drinking soda during the slow periods. When I took…