Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Online | Search for a member

relaxedninja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3276
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>allie2590</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Iwtumn</b> - yesterday at 10:40pm<b>zombi3_queen</b> - yesterday at 8:19am<b>Marebare23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:36pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:49am<b>weirdly_cute</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:31am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:04pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>RadarOReilly</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:51pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:19am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:16am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:40pm

relaxedninja's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39049) - you deserved it (10423)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

#21191583
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (3355)

On 06/28/2014 at 3:09pm - work - by a fat fucking shit and proud of it (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46090) - you deserved it (8311)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56283) - you deserved it (2995)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

#21185584
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (7738)

On 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm - money - by amused (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (3755)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50189) - you deserved it (8695)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45338) - you deserved it (4712)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59270) - you deserved it (5678)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40152) - you deserved it (4276)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: