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relaxedninja

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relaxedninja

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3165
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:49am<b>weirdly_cute</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:31am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:04pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>RadarOReilly</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:51pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:19am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:16am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:40pm<b>laurenboo1023</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:28pm<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:13pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:22am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:58am

relaxedninja's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88944) - you deserved it (4940)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (71814)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33163) - you deserved it (479526)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30013) - you deserved it (83469)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML

#774931
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163584) - you deserved it (26554)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78886) - you deserved it (162940)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113684) - you deserved it (8275)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90543) - you deserved it (32917)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68096) - you deserved it (22572)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

#415998
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83946) - you deserved it (18487)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by SmileEveryday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86745) - you deserved it (7437)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (126078)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

#271992
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (85067)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:35pm - intimacy - by awkwardgayboi (man) - United States (Missouri)



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