Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

relaxedninja

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

relaxedninja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2917
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About relaxedninja : Red hot chili peppers for life

relaxedninja's page activity

Visits<b>LittleBells</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Hopein2025</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:02pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:46pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:40pm<b>laurenboo1023</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:28pm<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:13pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:22am<b>x_why_me_x</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 8:58am<b>pumboc</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:37am<b>bellesuore</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:06pm<b>ElizabethJackson</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:56pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:02pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:00am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:47pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 5:29am

relaxedninja's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of relaxedninja's badges

relaxedninja's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

#3484345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53703) - you deserved it (5175)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44435) - you deserved it (6968)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56122) - you deserved it (4222)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I was working at a soup kitchen with people from my church. Seeing a rather disheveled couple, I told them the line started "over there". Only then did I realize that they were from my church, and were there to help serve soup. FML

#3261823
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (36257)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by zyordz (man) - Peru (Huanuco)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82920) - you deserved it (14165)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (67176)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (67176)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML

#3117868
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (17221)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13778) - you deserved it (88916)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13778) - you deserved it (88916)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11580) - you deserved it (110589)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (109173)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14627) - you deserved it (55610)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

#2787428
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (42350)

On 06/10/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by parkinglotslayer (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: